Autumn Nearly New Sale Date Confirmed

Hi All,

We are delighted to announce that we have now received confirmation on the date for our Autumn Nearly New Sale.

Saturday 17th November
Sponne School
Towcester

10am-11.30am

All the information including sellers packs will be released shortly, in the meantime if you would like to register your interest please email us at nnscoordinator@nct-towcester.org

Alternatively you can view the Nearly New Sale pages on the blog for further information.

Changes in relationships after giving birth

This article is taken from the NCT website. 

http://www.nct.org.uk/parenting/changes-relationships-after-giving-birth

Changes in relationships after giving birth

The arrival of a baby changes your life in many ways. Here we look at how a new baby can affect your relationships with your partner, family and friends.

When you’ve had a baby, there is usually less time for you to enjoy leisure activities with your partner. You’ll probably both feel more tired, you may be juggling work and family, and you may be focusing on the baby’s needs rather than the needs of you and your partner. Nonetheless, the experience for women and men of becoming parents is often quite different. 

The experience of mothers

Many women notice that things are changing for them during pregnancy when their thoughts and dreams become increasingly focused on the baby they are carrying. When the baby arrives, the hormonal changes going on in your body and the sheer hard work of caring for a young baby may make it seem like the outside world ‘disappears’ for a while. Many mothers in particular have such a strong rush of love for their baby that they feel they have little left for anyone else and it is little wonder that some partners and friends feel short-changed. In turn, this can lead to some mothers feeling torn in all directions and exhausted by the prospect of everyone wanting a piece of them.

No matter how much you love your baby and enjoy looking after her, however, there will be times when you miss the life you had before, when you could go out when you wanted to and be in charge of your own timetable. Many women feel that they should be really happy now the baby is here – but the first couple of months, in which the combination of intense emotions, the constant demands of a small baby and sleep deprivation can leave you feeling both exhausted and dissatisfied. If, for example, your partner leaves for work every morning, or carries on with hobbies, you may feel irritated that your life seems to have changed so much more than theirs, and this can lead to arguments and resentment.

It can also be hard to come to terms with the fact that often it is women who assume more traditional roles when the baby come along, rather than men. This can lead to conflict, especially if the woman feels that her partner is not doing their share of the chores. If both you and your partner return to work, then you are both likely to experience feelings of tiredness and of being pulled in different directions. The early weeks and months with a new baby are rarely easy for anyone. 

The experience of fathers and partners

Often parents enjoy the intimacy of the early days with a new baby, spending a lot of time talking over what the baby has done that day and what she might do tomorrow. But sometimes one partner, most commonly the father (or non-biological mother in a lesbian relationship), may feel left out, neglected, sad, lonely or even angry. It can be helpful to seek out a friend to talk to who will understand (perhaps someone who has been through the transition to parenthood themselves), and who can remind them that this early intense phase will soon pass.

A father or co-parent who takes paternity leave may become very absorbed in the new baby. However, some men still feel excluded during this time, or feel awkward about not knowing what to do, or how to help, or uncomfortable that they can’t help with breastfeeding, for example.

Returning to work can also seem strange, as it means trying to cope with working in the same way you did before at the same time as having a demanding new life with a baby. It can be particularly difficult to deal if you feel tired from lack of sleep.

Friends

Having a baby can provide you with opportunities to form new friendships (for example with mums you’ve met at antenatal classes), but it can also affect the relationships you have with your friends. It is not uncommon for new parents to find that they have less in common now with old friends who do not have children. For a time you may grow apart but it’s worth remembering that there’ll come a time when you’ll want to see old friends again and reignite the relationship you used to have. 

The wider family

While you are busy adjusting to the changes a baby has made to your life, your wider family also has some adjusting to do. You may still feel like someone’s daughter but you now have the responsibility that goes with being a parent. Becoming a mother may make you look at your own mother with fresh eyes and wonder how the experience of becoming a parent was for her, but it may also make you think about how you were parented yourself: do you want to do things differently from your own mother, or follow her example? Some new parents find themselves in conflict with their own parents or parents-in-law if they have different ideas about the best way to bring up children.

Losses and gains

Sometimes it may feel as though you are losing a lot, especially when you see your old friends less, hardly go out and lose touch with workmates, but you also gain in unexpected ways. For some, family can mean much more and they can find a new closeness with their own parents and wider family. Others may find that the family unit that consists of them, their partner and baby becomes the most important thing. And then there are the new ‘baby’ friends who are happy to talk for hours about births, nappies and feeding. Although your life will never be the same after having a baby as it was before, people usually find that things become a little easier as the baby gets older and the first few intense months have passed. 

Further information

NCT's helpline offers practical and emotional support in all areas of pregnancy, birth and early parenthood: 0300 330 0700.